April Fools’ Edition

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  • PA capital moving from Harrisburg to Elizabethtown

    After 214 years, Pennsylvania is once again moving its capital city. The announcement came earlier this week through the Pennsylvania Capitol Preservation Commission and the Department of General Services, which revealed that Elizabethtown, Pennsylvania, was chosen as the new location for Pennsylvania’s seat of government. Specifically, the campus of Elizabethtown College was chosen to be

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  • Vulture replaces Blue Jay as college mascot

    Vulture replaces Blue Jay as college mascot

    The Blue Jay will no longer be the official mascot of Elizabethtown College following a surprise announcement. The replacement mascot will be the turkey vulture. This change means the retirement of an 80-year-old mascot deeply tied to the college and its achievements. Prior to the adoption of the Blue Jay, a different mascot represented Elizabethtown,

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  • Etown recognizes campus squirrels as students, requires tuition payment

    Etown recognizes campus squirrels as students, requires tuition payment

    Elizabethtown College announced Monday that it will officially recognize campus squirrels as enrolled students beginning in the fall 2026 semester, a move that will require the animals to pay tuition and comply with select institutional policies. Under the new designation, squirrels regularly residing on campus grounds will be classified as non-degree-seeking students. College officials estimate

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  • Class Review: Intro to Procrastination

    Class Review: Intro to Procrastination

    Elizabethtown College has a wide range of classes. Most of these classes may seem a bit odd and some you may not even know about.  This class is often passed over during course selection as it may seem counterintuitive. COM123: Introduction to Procrastination is an elective offered in the communications department.  This class is held

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  • Starbucks to implement hourly charges; on- campus implications unclear

    Starbucks announced Tuesday it will begin charging customers based on the amount of time they spend inside its stores, introducing a new pricing model that extends beyond traditional food and beverage purchases. The change reflects a broader effort to redefine how in-store experiences are valued within the company’s business model. Company officials indicated the policy

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  • Andi’s Audio Corner: “The Etown Remix”

    Andi’s Audio Corner: “The Etown Remix”

    Most Elizabethtown College students are familiar with the parody of Taylor Swift’s “Welcome to New York” as the classic hit “Welcome to Etown.” It’s been years since Etown has released any more songs, but the wait is finally over. As a part of my song reviews, I was given special access to “The Etown Remix”

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