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Horoscopes: Does anyone really care which zodiac sign they are these days?
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
I have a simple morning routine, Jays. I wake up, I debate on whether I am going to class and then I check my Daily Horoscope app. Then, I check my Co-Star app. I read my horoscopes filled with vague sentiments and twist them so they fit my life. They are never correct and neither
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Media Review: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
This week, I want to share a book that’s been on my to-be-read list for quite some time, and I’m so glad I finally sat down to read it. It was captivating, with a thrilling twist partway through, and it constantly left me thinking even after it was over. So, dear Jays, here is my
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Recipe Review: Mac & Choc
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
As you may have figured out by the many dessert recipes I’ve tried this year already, I have a bit of a sweet tooth. This week isn’t much different, but I went with one I think even the most steadfast savory fans will still enjoy: mac & chocolate! To start, grab yourself a cup of
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OSA signs deal to host Coachella, Beyoncé announced as headliner
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
Butter pecan ice cream. The number four. Church choir. What do these three things have in common? If you don’t know, she’s going to be headlining Elizabethtown College’s very own Coachella. That’s right, the Queen B, Beyonce, will be the main event at the Office of Student Affairs’ (OSA) Coachella. Students were excited to find
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Tom Brady hired to restart Etown football team, promises decades of success
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
In a stunning turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the world of collegiate sports, former National Football League (NFL) quarterback Tom Brady has been appointed as the head coach of Elizabethtown College’s football team. With a promise for decades of enduring success, Brady’s imminent arrival and appointment has ignited a veritable excitement among
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Study Abroad Office to ship all Etown students to Spain
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
Elizabethtown College Study Abroad Office is excited to announce a new program it is piloting, beginning in Fall 2024, where all 1,800 Etown students will be shipped to Spain! This new program has taken years of planning and research, but the petition signed by all Etown students for the opportunity to go to Spain could
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Etown introduces Gen Alpha language classes
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
It seems every year the divide between students’ and professors’ diction and language grows, and it’s become noticeable even between cohorts. The truth of the matter is, the slang of the younger generations is becoming much too hard for some to fully comprehend. So, in order to combat this unfortunate separation, the College plans to
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House of Representatives bans Canvas
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
On March 13, the House of Representatives passed a bill banning TikTok from American devices. This was, in their eyes, meant to help protect American citizens from influences and spying happening overseas. However, suddenly and without warning, the House has begun to pass numerous other bills banning many other apps all over the Apple App
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Business Buzz: Target to replace Nicarry Hall
- April Fools' Edition
- April 7, 2024
Good news, Blue Jays! Target is officially marking its territory on the Elizabethtown College campus. No longer will students have to drive twenty to thirty minutes off campus to one of their Lancaster or Harrisburg locations. Instead, they can simply walk right on over to where Nicarry Hall currently stands to indulge in their shopaholic
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