Written by: Smudge Grimm
Emotional Support Animal
I would like to let you know, as every person on the planet should know, that rats are not dirty animals. We are so clean! I take a bath at least five times a day. It might be with my tongue, but it’s a bath. Shame on you for thinking otherwise!
I came on a bit strong. I’m Smudge, and I live with my mom, Georgia, and my brother, Pudge. Pudge and I are twins, but there are several tell-tale signs that separate us. I’m tougher, for one. We recently got separate bedrooms because we were always fighting to see who got the top bunk. I won, of course. I whooped his butt – though he won’t admit it. He likes to pretend he’s tough, but I am always the winner!
I’m also very handsome. I have a beautiful white coat and it is the softest thing you’ll ever feel. Please feel free to pet it – I would never turn down being petted. The best is when Mom runs her whole hand over my back and I lay flat on the ground like a pancake! A very handsome pancake. I’m a big fan of wrestling and playing. Mom runs out all the time and gets new toys for us. I especially enjoy the little wooden puzzles. They feel especially good under the teeth.
If I had to guess, I’d say my mom is a master forager and hunter. She knows everything there is to know about food. She can tell what’s tastiest, safest and crunchiest. Sometimes, when she makes her human food for her and the other house-humans, we’ll get little plates of pork chops, berries and veggies. I bet she spends all day going out and gathering supplies because she cooks almost every night and brings us tons of goodies. I can’t wait to see what she makes tonight!
Written by Pudge Grimm
Emotional Support Animal
Trust me, I’d rather be asleep or hiding under a mound of cardboard right now, so what I have to say is pretty important. My brother said there was one thing he wanted the world to know about rats. Here’s the thing I want people to know about humans: there’s a lot more to them than meets the eye. You don’t have snouts or whiskers, so I guess you have to use your too-big brains and hearts or something like that.
Also, don’t let Smudge lie to you. I almost won all those fights! He’s fatter than me, contrary to our names, and he had an unfair weight advantage. I can be tough too, but I like to be secretive about it. For instance, when a person gets a little too close to me, I lunge and bite! Yet, I don’t really bite. I just crunch down enough to show them that I can bite. But I will if you mess with my space!
Although, I do like having my own room. I like to pull the little paper shreds in my room into the green plastic igloo I sleep in. That way, when I get tired of listening to the humans’ chatter, I can pull all the shreds up to the door of the igloo and plug it up. I get – and pardon the expression – squirrelly when it’s loud. I also get freaked out when it’s silent. Or when I’m sitting down. Or moving. Basically, I’m twitchy most of the time.
Not when Mom plays the piano though. I bet you didn’t know that about her. She is a genius on the piano! She plays almost every night. Great, loud songs with lots of small notes and patterns. Some nights have sad songs that feel like a river running through the living room. Smudge and I butt heads a lot, but we both agree our favorite part of the night is listening to her concert. That’s why humans are a lot more than you think they’d be. They have secret talents and personalities you’d never guess they’d have. You guys are interesting creatures for sure.
