This is the first thing you should know about me: I don’t like moving. At all. For one, I was just sitting inside of that box doing nothing, so why would you ruin the moment by taking me out of the box and putting your random junk in it? What’s the point in that? Second, you’re telling me I get to go outside, but I have to be inside a plastic tube with windows the entire time? Let me go! I won’t go that far because I don’t know how to hunt for wet food yet.
Anyway, my name is Aragog and I am one cool human. Unfortunately, fate would have it that I am trapped in the body of this cat. According to my parent, that means I can’t eat ramen or go outside without a sweater. Bummer, right? It does have its advantages, though. I am very fast. So fast, in fact, that I can zip out of my parent’s hands when they pick me up. Not today, parental unit!
I’ve lived in Elizabethtown for two years. I was a wee one when I first arrived here. We lived in a place called “Founders,” although I’m not sure what I was supposed to find there. Mostly, I found dust bunnies under the bed and some really cool people with stacks of books all around them. My parent, Pleasant, is very kind and likes to lend a hand all over campus. How annoying. Don’t they see that I’m at home, sitting pretty and ready for petting while they’re saving the world?
Pleasant has introduced me to a lot of cool people over the years. Some of them have lived with us. One had lots of plants on their shirt and a big, loud box. They’d put a big Frisbee on the box and then a little man would start singing! One has put drawings and paintings all over the house. She went away for probably forever, and when she came back she smelled like so many cats! I was betrayed, but then she scratched behind my ears and we were cool again. My favorite is Miranda. She stays out late a lot because she’s a scientist. I like to wait by the door for her to come home. Pleasant says she has “real good vibes.” Whatever those are.
We’ve stayed over the summer three times now. It’s a little boring. So few people walk past our window, so I don’t have anyone to gossip about. When I do, I don’t think Pleasant gets it.
“Did you see that guy with the basket on his bike?” I said. “I want to ride in the basket!”
“Shush, chatty boy,” they said, and scratched my head. They were watching the TV show you have to press buttons to make work, so there was no use talking to them.
Suddenly, there were a lot of people here at once. They were much smaller people, and they looked a little nervous. Pleasant called them “Momentum,” which kind of sounds like a warrior name to me. I met a couple of them and made sure to rub my whole head against their leg to make them feel safe. If they smell like me I’m pretty sure no one will mess with them. That was a weird week, because Pleasant was gone basically all day. Of course, I’d let them take their nap, but then I’d want to be petted and they’d just roll over. I don’t know what “three in the morning” is, but it basically means “I’m a grouch and I’m not going to pet you.” As if you wouldn’t want to pet me all the time!
It’s a good week too because I hear lots of stories. They go to this place called Philadelphia with the Momentum kittens. These humans all have dinner together and get to know each other. A lot of people stop by to give me a pat on the head and a treat. Pleasant makes new friends every year at this time too. As much as I’d prefer her home, this week is important because it helps the kittens get ready for the year. That, and everyone sees how amazing my parent is. They take good care of me. I take great care of them too. I just wish they’d stop using my sitting boxes!
