As a performative artist, Lux Hileman has had to fit many roles. Starting as a competitive dancer and actor, they’ve portrayed both female and male characters, and even a few nonhuman characters. “I actually got to nationals doing a male part,” they explained. It came naturally; the gender of the role never mattered, it was the mannerisms and personality they focused on to get the character just right for the stage.
“I don’t really see gender in other people as a whole, at least not at first,” they added. It’s not about what a character—or person, for that matter—looks like, it’s about all their other traits.
For Hileman, gender roles simply never seemed to fit. “I always was a little…off,” they joked, “even since I was a toddler.” Growing up, they engaged with both the “princess stuff” and more traditionally masculine activities, and by high school they came to the conclusion that they weren’t really either a man or a woman, but something in between, or different altogether.
“I realized, ‘Oh! There’s a term for this!’” This term, they explained, was the trans nonbinary label. “I don’t fit within the binary spectrum of masculine and feminine. I guess I encapsulate both aspects, and also neither. I fluctuate between the two.” Since they don’t identify fully with either masculine or feminine identities, using they/them pronouns just feels most comfortable, although they don’t mind when they’re referred to as “he” or “she.”
Hileman is an active member of the Elizabethtown College community, participating in multiple E-Motion dances and working towards a degree in both Japanese and political science. During their time on campus thus far, they haven’t encountered any rejection of their nonbinary identity.
“Overall, everyone is super respectful,” they said, explaining that they haven’t had any issues with their peers, professors or administration neglecting to use their preferred name and pronouns. “I felt intimidated at some points around the stereotypical ‘straight boys’ because of past experiences,” they admit. “But even then, if I actually interact with people, I’ve never had a bad experience.”
The most supportive communities they’ve found on campus are their peers in dance, and the group of friends they’ve made while playing Dungeons & Dragons. “I get to play characters. I get to embody all different aspects of masculine, feminine, and kind of develop my own sense of identity through the activities and art that I do.”
The same can’t exactly be said about their hometown. During our conversation, Hileman divulged that they had been called slurs in high school, not only for their nonbinary identity, but also for being pansexual. After their transition to Etown, they’ve been able to feel more safe in being able to express that aspect of themselves, surrounded by people who accept them.
As we were wrapping up the interview, Hileman offered some advice to the Etown community. “I think the most important thing anyone can do is educate themselves. That doesn’t mean they have to automatically have knowledge. That doesn’t mean they have to go out and research things on their own. When someone presents an aspect of their identity that you don’t understand, be respectful of that, and ask questions in a polite way. They don’t have to teach you, but make sure that you’re open to learning. And it’s okay to make mistakes!”
As long as someone understands and corrects their mistakes, Hileman doesn’t mind when people mess up. Learning and growing as a person and being open to new aspects of a person’s identity—be it their gender, sexuality, religion or a host of other things—is one of the best things an individual can do to make a difference.
