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  • Schlosser Shenanigans: residents seek new homes

    Schlosser Shenanigans: residents seek new homes

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   On March 28, the Elizabethtown College Schlosser Residence Hall was due for health inspection checks but failed to receive clearance because of multiple mycotoxins, such as trichothecenes, discovered around the Schlobby. If

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  • The College adds new influencer studies degree

    The College adds new influencer studies degree

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   Elizabethtown College recently put out a list of new majors that they are adding to the course catalog, and one of them is the new influencer studies degree! The influencer studies degree

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  • Global Perspective: Etown adds new study abroad program in Antarctica

    Global Perspective: Etown adds new study abroad program in Antarctica

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   Do you absolutely love the cold? Do you love to travel and go on adventures? Do you want to go to a place that few people have ever visited? If you answered

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  • Etown embraces new cryptocurrency JayCoin

    Etown embraces new cryptocurrency JayCoin

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   Kids these days think college is so old-school. Well not anymore. Elizabethtown College announced a transformative measure this week with the introduction of the JayCoin, a school-sponsored cryptocurrency. Students will be able

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  • Etown students campaign to become the College’s new president

    Etown students campaign to become the College’s new president

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   As the academic year inches closer to ending, the long-anticipated elections for Elizabethtown College president are finally kicking off with three contenders running for the position. Each of the candidates have comprehensive

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  • Biology department successfully clones the beloved Truman

    Biology department successfully clones the beloved Truman

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   So we all know Truman, right? That cute labradoodle who walks around campus allowing everyone to pet him? And I mean, let’s be honest here, is there anything better than petting Truman?

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  • Etown’s Women’s Lacrosse loses to Misericordia

    Etown’s Women’s Lacrosse loses to Misericordia

    On Saturday, March 19, the Elizabethtown College women’s lacrosse team faced off on Wolf Field against Misericordia University in a hard-fought match. At the end of the game, the final score was 17-3, with the Cougars of Misericordia coming out on top. The Blue Jays now have a 1-6 record and the Cougars hold a

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  • Pro Sports update

    Pro Sports update

    Australia’s Ash Barty, the No. 1-ranked women’s tennis player in the world, has recently announced her retirement from the sport at the age of 25. Barty said in an emotional video posted on Wednesday, March 16 on her social media accounts: “I’m so happy and I’m so ready. I just know at the moment in

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  • Video Game Review: Pool Elite

    Video Game Review: Pool Elite

    “Pool Elite” is an old game, but it is worth a review. This game is a three-dimensional pool simulator, enabling you to play several different variations of pool including but not limited to: 8-Ball, 9-Ball, 3 Cushion, Carom and even Snooker. This game is very realistic, as it is based in physics. This means that

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