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  • Abby’s Advice: Choosing the right college

    Abby’s Advice: Choosing the right college

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   Finding the right college is a difficult task for anyone, whether you’re in high school, looking to transfer to a new school or are pursuing a degree later in life. However, there

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  • Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson builds a garden at Etown College

    Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson builds a garden at Etown College

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   On Sunday, March 27, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson built a rock garden on the pathway to the Elizabethtown College Bowers Writers House. During an unexpected visit to the College, Johnson built the

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  • Chef Gordon Ramsay hosts cooking class

    Chef Gordon Ramsay hosts cooking class

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   On Friday, March 25, Elizabethtown College hosted none other than Gordan Ramsay himself, who held a cooking class in the Bower’s Center Demonstration Kitchen. There he cooked various foods that he is

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  • Abby Lee Miller holds Beyoncé backup dancer class

    Abby Lee Miller holds Beyoncé backup dancer class

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   Last week, the cabinet members of E-Motion—Elizabethtown College’s all-inclusive dance club and the largest club on campus—were treated to a very special master class. The one and only Abby Lee Miller, star

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  • Schlosser Shenanigans: residents seek new homes

    Schlosser Shenanigans: residents seek new homes

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   On March 28, the Elizabethtown College Schlosser Residence Hall was due for health inspection checks but failed to receive clearance because of multiple mycotoxins, such as trichothecenes, discovered around the Schlobby. If

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  • The College adds new influencer studies degree

    The College adds new influencer studies degree

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   Elizabethtown College recently put out a list of new majors that they are adding to the course catalog, and one of them is the new influencer studies degree! The influencer studies degree

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  • Global Perspective: Etown adds new study abroad program in Antarctica

    Global Perspective: Etown adds new study abroad program in Antarctica

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   Do you absolutely love the cold? Do you love to travel and go on adventures? Do you want to go to a place that few people have ever visited? If you answered

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  • Etown embraces new cryptocurrency JayCoin

    Etown embraces new cryptocurrency JayCoin

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   Kids these days think college is so old-school. Well not anymore. Elizabethtown College announced a transformative measure this week with the introduction of the JayCoin, a school-sponsored cryptocurrency. Students will be able

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  • Etown students campaign to become the College’s new president

    Etown students campaign to become the College’s new president

    The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.   As the academic year inches closer to ending, the long-anticipated elections for Elizabethtown College president are finally kicking off with three contenders running for the position. Each of the candidates have comprehensive

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