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Etown Basketball joins March Madness
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. The Elizabethtown College Blue Jays have made an unexpected run in this year’s March Madness basketball tournament. Due to a unique clause in NCAA rules, the Division III Etown team was granted
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Easter Bunny races against Etownian mascots
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. Earlier this week, before an injury, the Easter Bunny ran in a footrace against the mascots of the Etownian, including Marvin the Monkey, Domino the Horse, Cate the Cat, and Rory the
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Community Living to host campus-wide paintball tournament for housing selection
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. This weekend on Saturday, March 33, Elizabethtown College’s Community Living will host a paintball tournament for better housing selection lottery numbers. The tournament will run from dawn until whenever a winner is
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Wheels vs. Doors
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. Over the past decade or so, the world has been captivated by numerous internet debates. One of the most infamous internet debates was the “what color is the dress?” debate; is it
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The story on Rory
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. If you’ve ever gotten a physical copy of the Etownian, chances are you’ve seen Rory hopping around in the Campus Life section. This ambitious little frog spends his days helping fill white
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Meet Doctor Dmitriy Krichevskiy and learn about why he finds economics a fascinating subject
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. After a long week of classes, you decide you want to go on a road trip with a couple of friends. Just last week, the gas prices were $3.89, and now they
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Club Failure: The Etownian
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. Since I have started working at the Etownian in September 2021, I have encouraged my friends and peers to pick up a copy of the paper. I told them about how professional
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3/31/22 Horoscopes
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. Equestrian (Aquarius)- We get it, you’re quirky. Fish Friend (Pisces)- You’re not a day dreamer, you just have a terrible sleep schedule. Angry Baby (Aries)- That’s right, chase that Red Bull. It’s
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Enjoying the warm weather
- April Fools' Edition
- March 31, 2022
The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real. All this past week, Elizabethtown College students have had the pleasure of basking in the sun’s rays as they walked across campus. Some sported tank tops, shorts and flip flops due to
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