April Fools’ Edition

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  • Underground tunnels set to reopen, rumors spiral

    Underground tunnels set to reopen, rumors spiral

    Elizabethtown College has underground tunnels connecting many of the academic buildings and some of the residential halls. One of the passages connect the two sections of Ober. Some of the exits of the tunnels can be found in Niccary, Royer and other places around campus. After years of being closed, the College has finally listened

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  • What lurks in the library

    What lurks in the library

    On foggy nights around campus, you may hear footsteps in the haze. This is the sound of the old man circling the sidewalk of Elizabethtown College. He won’t tell you his name. He definitely won’t tell the Etownian. He walks fasts but if you catch him, he will say he’s an alum, class of 1972.

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  • New club sailing in at Elizabethtown College

    New club sailing in at Elizabethtown College

    Elizabethtown College is known for its various clubs on campus, and it is expanding once again. The College has introduced the new sailing club this week. Students were very excited for this club to get started, but one challenge seemed to be in the way.  The club was unsure where to hold it, as it

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  • Esports

    Esports

    Recently, a game was added to the PC repertoire of gaming. It is called Crystalshot, and it involves both water polo and Pegasus. Crystalshot is played by using the arrow keys on the PC to move in the direction you want. The player rides on Pegasus, who is controlled by the arrow keys. Crystalshot has

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  • Ice skating on Lake Placida

    Ice skating on Lake Placida

    Recently, the sports department was thinking of adding a professional ice skating team that would skate on Lake Placida. For the longest time, ice skating on Lake Placida has not been allowed, but the sports department has been considering revoking the rule so people can have a fun, new way to enjoy themselves during the

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  • Pigeon and penguin sledding

    Pigeon and penguin sledding

    During the recent snowstorms, a lot of students chose to stay inside and keep warm. Some students, however, attended the annual Penguin and Pigeon races that Elizabethtown College hosts every year. This year, the competition was fierce as the reigning champions George the Pigeon and King the Penguin faced off against their rivals; Percy the

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  • Professional sledding in the Dell

    Professional sledding in the Dell

    After the penguin and pigeon races, professional sledding took place in the Dell. Some of the students stole trays from the Marketplace in the Brossman Commons, took them out to the Dell and used them as sleds. There were races, and some people were trying to stand up on the sleds.  One of the people

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  • Raiding the tennis courts

    Raiding the tennis courts

    Recently, a bunch of Elizabethtown College students raided the tennis courts late at night. A spokesperson, who has not seen the new tennis courts yet, wanted to go play tennis after dark. So, this spokesperson got a bunch of their friends and raided the tennis courts, hoping to get in a few matches after dark.

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  • S’mores game

    S’mores game

    Anyone who follows Elizabethtown College athletics knows of the school’s long-standing rivalry with Messiah College. One of the biggest games for the rivalry every year is the Marshmallow Game. Every fall semester, with the exception of fall 2020 due to COVID-19, when the two schools’ soccer teams play each other, spectators come to the game

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