I can remember my family seeing me off to college with well-intentioned advice. They urged me to take advantage of all that Elizabethtown College had to offer. They wanted me to make the most of my four years and to make the quintessential “college memories.”
With that in mind, I arrived at a campus that encourages participation in as many clubs and activities as can be packed into a schedule, where working four jobs is the norm, and where activities are scheduled every night to occupy students. I took the advice of family members who had never been to college, excitedly bought into the Etown culture and found myself color-coding my schedule just to remember all of my commitments. I expected that, like all good movies about college, the more I did, the more I’d be liked and the more likely I was to truly enjoy college.
Both of those expectations were realized. Tacked onto these positive outcomes were several latent effects. My natural inclination to take part in all activities of interest or benefit to me soon became a burden.
I was sleeping less than four hours a night and still falling behind. I worked the maximum number of hours allowed by the College and still felt obligated to take extra shifts. I was a member of multiple campus groups and still struggled against the pressure to join others.
And yet, new banners in the BSC tempted me to join yet another club. Yes. Of course I wanted to devote a few more hours to something else I didn’t have time for. Yes. I needed to be involved in that activity. Yes. I love people and I wanted to work with some I had never met. No. I did not have the time or emotional energy to do so. The results were clear to everyone but me.
My days blended together and being awake for three in a row was not an uncommon practice. I saw no problems with this mentality and I continued – no, continue to have a “do-it-all” stance on the world. It wasn’t until recently that I began to acknowledge this pattern, which my friends have called a “superwoman complex.” My need to be involved in just shy of everything has led to extra stress, less sleep and a number of unnecessary illnesses.
Two years of double booking myself later, I’ve come to realize that unlike superwoman, I do need sleep, regular meals and social interaction outside of study groups. Now as an over-tired senior, badly in need of a break, I am reevaluating my choices.
On a “yes” campus, where everyone is involved in everything, I am learning that I need to say “no.” With a lifetime of experience behind me, making this change is going to be difficult, but I know it is needed. I am unsure how to implement this lifestyle, but I have my mind set on a healthier me. I worry about the foods I eat and the exercise I get, but now I also plan to attend to my psychological and emotional well-being.
For others in this position, I would offer this advice; you need to understand that “no” is not a bad word, and taking on extra tasks doesn’t make you better and the respect you gain isn’t worth the sleep you lose. While I am still trying to implement this change myself, I urge you to do the same. Allow yourself a day of relaxation and time to catch up. We all need it sometimes, and making these changes before you reach your breaking point can only make your life easier.
