I have yet to master college. I’m two years and a month into my collegiate career, and I’m still trying to learn how to survive in an environment that is simultaneously foreign (Lancaster County) and home (Etown). With each semester that goes by, I feel as if I learn something more about myself and my place in the bigger picture; I learn where it is I fit in here, and, more importantly, I attempt to figure out where I may end up landing in the real world. For all the strides in the right direction I take and all the positives, there will be at least one damn-I-wish-I-could-go-back-and-change-that moment. Then enter the first-years who are viewed by me, someone who is only two years their senior, as the epitome of a clean slate, a fresh start, another shot. If you will, I’d ask for you to stop rolling your eyes, because I know I’m not an old man; I know I can still go in any direction I please with life, but there are some things I feel as if I needed to know as a first-year.
You don’t have to like your roommate. You don’t have to be best friends, you don’t have to expect to share anything in common. If pillow talk exists, that’s phenomenal, but it’s okay if bedtime denotes sleeping, not an outpouring of one’s soul to the stranger who’s lying in the same room as you. It’s a test and life lesson wrapped up in one: do you have what it takes to peacefully coexist with someone you’ve never met before? That’s what you need to do: occupy the same space with another person, avoid causing egregious offense, and all the while work toward being a considerate human being.
You don’t have to be friends with anyone in your dorm building. The summation of your existence in your dorm could be that that’s where you spend a majority of your sleeping time. Those people don’t have to be your new best friends just because of proximity, because that may be easier than having to make the five minute expedition across campus to Schlosser. You need to find the people with whom you want to be; you need to find the people with whom you can be you, and the ones who want you to be you, not the way that’s most convenient for them. Take the first week, month, semester trying out different groups of people because sadly, who you end up as and what your experience here is likely to be dictated, partially or more so, by your friends.
Get involved. For the love of anything you hold near and dear, get up this instant and sign up for something: a club, a job, a trip. The sooner you get involved, the sooner you’ll be out there actively participating in campus life, both contributing to the school and meeting the people who may end up being your best friends. With that being said, this past week Dr. Matthew Willen, associate professor of English, said something that is just as crucial to your experience here: “Life is short. You gotta learn to say no.” Truth. Don’t be a yes-man/woman. Get involved, yes; help people out with their club or activity, yes; allow yourself to be pulled every which way because you can’t say no, no. Getting involved is, in my opinion, crucial to your development as both a student and a person. You deem what is worthy of your attention and energy. It starts with you.
When looking at where I am now academically and socially, I think everything can be traced back to my experience with regard to these points. For you, it can and probably should be different. Whatever it is that happens or happened for you as a freshman, I hope it’s what’s best for you.