Break out the umbrellas, ponchos and canoes, folks. The Elizabethtown summer weather has apparently overstayed its welcome, and rain clouds now loom on the horizon. Over the next few months, we should expect the standard volatile weather — for which Etown is rather notorious — to resurface. But what shall we poor college students do to survive the drenching downpours, relentless rainstorms and seasonal slush of the colder seasons? Have no fear, for I have a whole slew of solutions to get us through these wet and soggy weeks. I present to you my Etown College Survival Guide: Rain Edition. At attention, soldier!
In order to conquer our enemy, we must first understand its insidious nature. The rain strikes in different formations, and its droplets assault us like soldiers from any number of directions. Rain can strike directly from above, dive-bombing our heads and shoulders with reckless abandon. It can sweep at us from the sides when allied with another nemesis, the wind, which deserves a survival guide of its own. Those water droplets will not change their direction for you — you must adjust to them, and turn in a way so that you are not pelted in the face by their onslaught. If you feel the rain strike at you from the bottom, then you must have fallen victim to their dying attack: puddles. Or you’re just standing on top of a sprinkler, which you should probably stop doing. Finally, rain comes at us in various amounts, which translates to the strength of their attack. The number of enemy soldiers that breach your base dictates the proper countermeasure. Do I make myself clear, soldier?
Enemy debriefing aside, we can combat the annoyance of rain with a variety of strategies. The obvious solution is to prepare adequately for the weather. Check the weather like a hawk, keeping a watchful eye for the ever-prevalent gray-cloud-with-blue-lines-coming-from-it design. Typically, those who get hit hardest by the rain are those who don’t know it is coming. “But, Matt, that’s just common sense, right?” Yes, it is — but common sense these days seems significantly less common than it used to be. I think “uncommon sense” fits the bill more. A study that I just came up with shows most students do not check the weather when preparing for the coming day. While I admittedly have no factual evidence to back up my claim, I would wager that most of us often neglect the handy Weather app on our phones or the periodic reports on the news. In the words of a certain character from “The Lion King,” “Be prepared.”
So how should you go about the preparation process? Start with a jacket. Is it raining harder than you thought? Upgrade to an umbrella. Don’t have a long walk — relatively speaking, of course, seeing as how a “long” walk at Etown is only 15 minutes? Maybe just grin and bear the undesirable weather for the three minutes you’ll be outside; be a good sport about it!
Preparation only succeeds when coupled with flexibility. In games such as chess — reader beware, because I’m about to geek out — the reasoning for moving one’s pieces comes down to two categories: strategy and tactics. Strategy consists of longer-range thinking, your overall game plan for claiming the win and general setup of your pieces. The majority of the game, however, comes down to tactics, or the momentary and reactionary decisions that you will make several of each game. To me, this defines the difference between preparation and flexibility.
Many of the decisions, tasks and challenges that emerge in our lives come down to the basic concepts of strategy and tactics, when broken down all the way. Even when dealing with inclement weather. Your strategy: brave the rain with your trusty rain jacket, since the forecast called for only light showers. That works for about half of the day, until lightning bolts start careening down from the heavens, and you have to get all the way from the High Library to the Young Center. Gosh darn it. Your tactic to survive the storm? Just go through the JayWalk so you spend less time outside. No big deal.
Consider a different situation: You’re working on a group project for one of your core classes. You pick a meeting time with your group, and each member has his or her assigned role. Good strategy. Naturally, one of your group members decides to drop the class, because her life is just oh-so-stressful, among other miscellaneous excuses. As a result, your group tactically splits up her job among the three of you, and you manage to do a bang-up job on your project. You set the framework with your strategy, and adjust to the circumstances with your tactics.
So what are some ways to tactically avoid the punishment of rainfall? Avoid puddles. Stay inside. Resist the urge to trudge through the grass. Run — don’t walk — but you will probably look idiotic doing so. Keep your umbrella within your sight, for fear that someone will take it. “Swiper, no swiping.” If you have class in Gibble Auditorium, bring a floatie or noodle with you.
Having read to this point in the article, you’re probably thinking that this whole discussion of battle plans, strategy and tactics is overcomplicating things. And you’re right — it is. We make decisions every day in life, including how to deal with rain. We also choose our attitude. Dealing with rain is not at all complicated. Don’t fool yourself or let me fool you into thinking that it’s rocket science, or that poor weather gives you a reason to complain.
It’s just rain. Deal with it.
