If we want our bodies to remain healthy, hydration is essential. Keeping hydrated helps control body temperature, gets rid of potentially harmful waste and can even regulate metabolism, among other things. While the benefits are obvious, the disadvantages are even more apparent.
Disadvantages of staying hydrated? Preposterous! Perhaps it isn’t harmful to the one drinking the water, but for those sitting nearby. I once saw a girl refill her water bottle three times during the course of one class. She then interrupted the class two additional times to walk to the bathroom. Five interruptions by one girl. The water bottle culture on this campus is out of control, and there are several types of offenders.
Type One: The Gallon-Chugger. Most classes at Elizabethtown College last about an hour and 15 minutes. Why do you need to chug an entire gallon of water during that time? I can guarantee that unless you have just run a marathon, and maybe even if you have, you will not dehydrate during that time frame. I could be wrong. Maybe it is entirely necessary for you to lift an entire gallon to your lips every two minutes to block my view of the PowerPoint and to make that awkward rushing water sound. I would rather hear you gulping than hear the lecture. Judging by the culprits, I would assume this hydration technique is another way to show off those biceps just sculpted at the gym.
Type Two: The Rocket-Launcher. For some, the standard, run-of-the-mill water bottle just doesn’t cut it. What they require is the state-of-the-art, deluxe water bottle which filters the apparently contaminated water they get out of the Brita dispensers around campus. Why silently sip water in class when you can have a five-step process of nothing but sucking, gurgling, and a sound which can only be described as what one would hear witnessing a rocket ship slip the surly bonds of earth? There are environmentally responsible bottles which one can drink silently. They also don’t suction themselves to your lips, so we all get to hear that bonus “POP” when you finally break free.
Type Three: The Crinkler. Some students prefer the classic clear plastic bottle. You can buy them in bulk and eliminate the necessity of stopping and filling them before enjoyment. Typically, this is the quietest of all options. There is no hideous filter noise and no thud when placed on the desk. It is fairly simple to operate as well. One must simply unscrew the cap, raise the container to their lips, and tip the bottom higher than the part attached to one’s lips. All of this should occur almost silently. There is never a reason to crush the bottle. No matter how low the level of water, it will come out without disfiguring the shape of the bottle. No crunching or crinkling required.
Why do students feel the need to drink continuously throughout a lecture? In my opinion, it is nothing more than a boredom buster. Isn’t it amazing how we don’t feel the need to carry a water bottle through the mall with us? Fascinating how we can sit through a soccer game without one. I’d be willing to bet there are water bottle guzzlers who stare vacantly at a video game for hours without hydrating. I don’t know about you, but I was not permitted to carry a water bottle around with me during high school. Every day, I went at least five hours without a drink at all. Unless I had a cold, I was not missing it one bit.
There is, of course, an exception to be made during allergy or flu season or on a particularly hot day. Sometimes you’re just dying for a drink of water. I know I always keep a bottle in my bag, but there is certain etiquette to be followed. By all means, hydrate! Just make sure your process of hydrating is not disruptive to those around you. Get your drink out before class begins to avoid distracting those around you later. Don’t chug and gulp. Be sure you are drinking because you are thirsty and not simply bored.
If you are making constant noise either through the process of drinking your water or retrieving it, you are being a nuisance and are doing something seriously wrong.
