I don’t know about you, Jays, but after a long day of tests, papers and whatever else professors throw at me, I want to enjoy a nice sweet treat. Luckily for us, the lovely Marketplace offers some of the most delectable treats on this planet. I have eaten at patisseries in Paris, and their treats don’t compare to the ones offered to us on a daily basis. So, for this week of the Horoscopes, let’s find out what Marketplace dessert you are based on your zodiac sign. Don’t forget to use your sun, moon and rising if you want to have the perfect dessert trifecta!
Aries- You are the chocolate chip cookie, an absolute staple of the Marketplace desserts. These cookies have expertly perfected by the lovely Dining Hall workers, and if you don’t know what to get, the chocolate chip cookies are always a good choice.
Taurus- You are the red velvet cookies. This decadent dessert will satisfy your inner need for luxury. No one really knows what red velvet means, but luckily, you don’t need to in order to satisfy your sweet treat!
Gemini- You are the ice cream machine. The ice cream machine isn’t always working, but when it is, it’s a delightful day on campus. It’s kind of like when campus smells of chocolate instead of the unfortunate farm smells.
Cancer- You are the cannoli. Hard shell and soft insides, what else would you be? This classic Italian dessert is messy but worth the crumbs you find on your shirt hours later. Make sure to grab extra napkins!
Leo- Your treat is the Funfetti Gooey bar. Every bite is an explosion of sprinkles, color and general good vibes. They taste like childhood nostalgia, when the word ‘Canvas’ just meant something you paint on and not the terrible website that haunts our dreams.
Virgo- You are the brownie, specifically the one that mimics Little Debbie Cosmic Brownie. After a long day of running around, sometimes you just need a classic brownie. Your move will instantly improve after some chocolate!
Libra- You are the Samoa bar. This bar is sweet, just like you, and blends together many flavors. It will remind you of the iconic Girl Scout cookies, except you don’t have to wait for their season to come around!
Scorpio- You are the delightful cheesecake. It’s unassuming with the lack of color, but don’t be fooled. This treat offers you the experience of dining in a Michelin Star restaurant. The snickerdoodle cheesecake bars are also a good option!
Sagittarius- You are the Yoda themed cupcakes. The bakers really know how to make cupcake decorations worthy of your Snapchat story. It might hurt your soul to ruin Yoda’s face, but at least your stomach will be happy!
Capricorn- You are the chocolate chip cookie dip. This treat requires some to eat, which means more time in the Marketplace to complain about your classes and gossip with your friends. If the walls of the Marketplace could talk, we’d all be in trouble.
Aquarius- You are the chocolate mint pie. All signs point to this combination not working, but for some wonderful reason, it does. This isn’t a common treat in the Marketplace, so hopefully next time, you’ll get your hands on it!
Pisces- You are the carrot cake cupcake. Pisces represent the spirit of connection, and that is what Etown is all about. If you toured Etown, you probably got one of these cupcakes. Relive that time by indulging in this sweet treat!
