For our dedicated readers, some may recall one of the most intense debates from last semester’s “Debate of the Week.” Are boneless wings really just chicken nuggets? Well, a momentous decision is about to be determined in a Chicago-area court this month. In a class-action lawsuit, an Illinois man is suing Buffalo Wild Wings, a restaurant specializing in both bone-in and boneless wings (or, perhaps, chicken nuggets), over this very question. While the verdict remains to be seen on this critical argument, the popularity of this debate is only a testament to the importance of this very serious, incredibly relevant debate column. Therefore, it is only right that this author makes a return to the Campus Life section to address another controversial debate question, with the hopes of bringing the same visibility to this issue as our heroic Chicago man is as he asks one of life’s most vital questions.
Today’s debate, however, does not involve chicken. On this occasion, our debate will strive to analyze the nature of our everyday cereal. Firstly, is cereal a soup? And, which comes first: the milk or the cereal?
The notion of cereal as a soup is what some might describe as “cursed.” The question of cereal as a soup often results in a visceral reaction: confusion, disgust and, on one memorable occasion, outright screaming. However, what is a soup? Essentially, soup is a mostly or completely liquid dish, oftentimes with solid pieces of food, such as noodles, meat or vegetables, mixed in. Perhaps disturbingly perfectly, this definition fits the bill for cereal to a tee. A liquid dish—milk—mixed with solid pieces of food—the cereal. Therefore, it must be admitted that cereal is indeed a soup.
However, some may attempt to refute this argument by stating the typically-warm temperature of soup excludes cold cereal from being categorized as a soup. At the same time, a quick Google search of “cold soup” yields thousands of results, dozens of recipes for cold soups. Therefore, the only requirements for a food to be a soup is that it is mostly or totally liquid with solid pieces mixed within. (Side note—if some soups, like tomato soup, are totally liquid, does that mean any digestible liquid, including beverages, are technically soup? Or does that mean all-liquid soups are simply beverages?)
At any rate, the determination of cereal as a soup, while it may raise fundamental questions about one’s world outlook, has further implications for its construction. If a cereal is a soup, then isn’t it only proper to assemble cereal in the same order as one would assemble a soup? When it comes to soup, we typically prepare and cook the solid ingredients before the liquid. This may suggest that we assemble cereal by adding in the solid elements first, then pouring milk overtop. At the same time, however, many who make soup from scratch often cook the solid ingredients, boil their liquid soup base and then add in the solid ingredients into the pot full of liquid. Does this mean we should add the milk before the cereal? Be brave, readers, as I know this idea likely strikes fear into your hearts. On a positive note, this unclear answer remains open to interpretation. Those who prefer cereal first and those who prefer milk first both have a valid argument when it comes to defending the way they assemble their morning soup.
That said, there is a feeling of correctness in the universe which only comes from pouring cereal before the milk. A cosmic alignment seems to occur for this author when I pour my cereal before my milk, whereas the times I have (distractedly) added milk first has only left me with a feeling of emptiness. At any rate, I will refrain from commenting on the correct process for assembling cereal, though I will stand by the analysis of the dish as a soup. In rebranding cereal from its typical moniker to that of “morning soup,” we may finally gain some clarity in our lives as we continue the search for yet-uncategorized foods.
