The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.
If you’ve ever gotten a physical copy of the Etownian, chances are you’ve seen Rory hopping around in the Campus Life section. This ambitious little frog spends his days helping fill white space in the newspaper, leaving his thoughts on the page and making friends with anyone he meets.
Rory is a green clip-art frog who longs to show off his hue and be printed in color. In the Etownian, Rory is a great addition to the team, filling in white space. He didn’t always do this, however. One day, Rory just happened to wander into the second floor of Steinman, and found himself in the Etownian’s office. He was an instant hit, and became Campus Life’s mascot. He works diligently to make sure all space on the week’s newspaper is utilized in the best possible way. The Campus Life editors listen to his suggestions and help him live out his wishes, like being featured in the wordsearch.
Rory really wants to be of even more help to the newspaper, but he mostly just wants everyone to watch him shine. Besides wanting to be printed in his vibrant green hue, Rory has plenty of other goals for his time at Campus Life. One thing he’s working towards is finding new opportunities to strut his stuff and make even more friends here at Elizabethtown College. One of his dear friends is Marvin the Monkey, the mascot for the Sports section. Rory spends his time off reading the other sections of the Etownian, mingling with the other mascots and hopping around campus.
“Rory is very important to the Etownian.” Campus Life editor Chandler McGuire said. “He’s so cute!”
If you’d like to learn more about Rory, here are a few things about him that you just have to know! Rory LOVES green! Not only is Rory green, but he’ll eat any food that’s green, especially Rita’s on a hot summer’s day. He’ll take any green flavor, pear, key lime or green apple! Rory also takes quite a lot of pride in his work in the Etownian. He tries to always do his best work, even going so far as to grow and shrink to fit the space, if need be. Whenever and wherever you need him, he’s there. Rory gets along with pretty much everyone, and loves meeting new people every time someone opens the paper.
If you have a keen eye for finding fun little friendly frogs, you might have seen Rory in the March 17 edition of the Etownian. For those who missed him, you can find his lovely little self on page 10, sitting between the wordsearch and tic-tac-toe. His little caption reads, “Rory is ecstatic to be back home!” Well, welcome home Rory! It’s good to have you back!
So next time you walk into the BSC to pick up lunch or are walking to the Blue Bean to get yourself a cup of coffee, be sure to stop by the stairs to pick up a copy of the Etownian. If you’re lucky, you might just meet Rory yourself, and he can’t wait to meet you!
