Look, I’m sure you’ve all been wondering about this for a long time, so I’ll finally break it down for you. Welcome to the Etownian’s official ranking of the worst to best places to be on the Elizabethtown College Campus without wearing shoes. For the record this listing is only considering places while wearing socks but no shoes. The rankings would be vastly different for bare feet compared to wearing socks, and I do not have sufficient data on that at the moment. Also, for the record this is based on my personal experiences and also some speculation.
Let’s get started. The number one worst place to be in socks on campus is literally anywhere outside if it has been raining or snowing — especially on the grass. Ugh! Your socks would get all soggy and muddy and your feet would probably go numb. That’s just awful.
Only marginally better than this would be the bathroom near Gibble Auditorium. A few weeks ago I took my shoes off in a stall so I could change my reversible pants from one pattern to the other, and it was just very distressing. I can’t pinpoint why, but trust me it’s not good.
Unsurprisingly, next comes the rest of the bathrooms on campus — both in dormitories and academic buildings.
As a center mark, the most average place to wear socks and no shoes is any private residency. What could be more neutral than your personal dorm, apartment or quad? It’s not unpleasant, but it’s not exciting.
Next we have classrooms and workspaces in academic buildings. For me, this is most often the Etownian office. It’s kinda fun not wearing shoes when you’re working at something for several hours at a time.
The next one is more specific — the Field House in the Bowers Center for Sports, Fitness and Well-being. The rubber of the indoor track is such an interesting texture to walk around on, and I love that.
The next two are similar, but distinct. First, hallways in residencies and academic buildings. It’s just fun to walk around in public spaces without shoes. Where did your shoes go? Where are you going?
The same questions are provoked by our runner up for the best place to be in socks on campus: outdoor paths and sidewalks when the weather is nice. Anyone who sees you is going to be confused and concerned, or maybe they’ll just think you’re weird, but that’s okay. On sunny days the pavement is so warm and lovely on the soles of your feet, but not too hot since you’ve got socks on!
The number one, absolute best place to be on campus while wearing socks and not shoes is… drum roll, please… the staircase in the Steinman Center. The tread on the stairs is very textured and also oddly inconsistent. It’s just the perfect time of feeling on the feet to remind you that you’re alive.
So, now that the truth is out, I’ll see you on the stairs!
