The following article is part of an April Fools’ Edition of The Etownian: the stories are fake the but interviews/quotes are real.
Last week, the cabinet members of E-Motion—Elizabethtown College’s all-inclusive dance club and the largest club on campus—were treated to a very special master class. The one and only Abby Lee Miller, star of the hit reality show “Dance Moms,” visited campus to teach a master class. We soon learned, however, that this master class came with a lot more than we had bargained for.
The class was not just any class: it was a class for the future backup dancers for the queen herself, Beyoncé. I knew that joining the E-Motion cabinet as Public Relations representative would pay off eventually!
Now, like most dancers, I did have days when I would watch the stunt dancers for the Sixers or the Eagles’ cheerleaders and think to myself, “Wow. Maybe that will be me someday.” Backup dancing for Beyoncé, though? Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that! And with Abby Lee Miller?! That was even more far-fetched.
“I’d actually met Abby Lee Miller years ago,” life-long dancer and E-Motion’s current secretary Alli Amsbaugh said. “She was… very much like she is on her show, but it was still a good experience. She was much nicer this time, though!”
Our fundraiser Christina Mercincavage agreed: “I really don’t know why people don’t like her, she’s amazing!”
The eight of us on cabinet attended this late-night master class with a bit of hesitation for that very reason, so imagine our surprise when we heard we were preparing to dance for Beyoncé!
We started with a high-intensity warm-up, led by Miller, that nearly sent me home, quite frankly. Most of this campus knows that I do not have the strongest of ankles, but Miller did not appear concerned about that fact. After warming up, we began with the song “End of Time,” a song actually included in the Beyoncé Hip-Hop Remix choreographed by senior Rachel Freed this semester. We began in a pyramid—as Miller is a fan of pyramids—and learned a very sassy hip hop routine. From there, we transitioned into a tap dance to my all-time favorite Beyoncé song: “Love on Top.” (I’d like to note to whoever cares that I can sing every riff in that song, even spontaneously.) Now, tap was not seen too often on Miller’s show, but the dance we did definitely would have been a good fit for the reality show. As we only have three tap dances this semester and not all eight of us are able to participate in all three, it was nice to get a chance to all tap together.
Our third dance was a lyrical number to “If I Were a Boy,” and while I usually am partial to tap, I did thoroughly enjoy this number.
“I’m envisioning a give-and-take sort of piece,” Miller told us. “Half of you will be the hurtful boyfriends, the other half will be the desperate and heartbroken girlfriends. I want to really flesh out this dynamic.” While her vision was a good artistic choice, it was hard for us to stay serious with one another, as the eight of us have grown close this semester.
“It was hard to keep a straight face and stay serious,” Amsbaugh explained. “I’ve known and danced with Piper [the club’s historian] for about 17 years now, and Ingrid [your’s truly] and I have been friends since we started college. We were even roommates for two years.” Miller let us have our fun before moving onto our last number: a hip hop dance to “7/11.” I was in my element, and everyone else was, too.
“This is all about fun, sass and sexiness, ladies!” Miller encouraged. After a long night of intense dancing, this was the best way to finish off our class.
“The workshop was a lot better than I thought it would be,” president of E-Motion Kate Morse reported. “Abby was super fun in person. I had a great time!”
Unfortunately, Beyoncé’s next concert does not appear to be scheduled until 2023, but luckily for us, we have a whole year to keep practicing!
Shoutout to Abby Lee Miller, Beyoncé and all of our Blue Jays! Happy April!!
