Note: Dr. Don Trahan, who led the Diversity and Inclusion Training, responded in a follow-up.
During the summer, I was fed up. I was fed up by Elizabethtown College’s ties with a history of racial injustices and microaggressions against minority groups. I was even more fed up that the only attempt to fix these ties was to make all staff and students attend a Diversity and Inclusion Training. I had high hopes for the training, because this one lecture was all the administration cared to offer. After the last training was completed, I am yet again fed up, as the training sparked confusion, frustration and arguments.
To our understanding, the Diversity and Inclusion Training was going to only focus on the basis, effects and prevention of racism. Instead, the training also included microaggressions against another minority group, specifically transgender and gender-nonconforming people. Under this topic, the lecturer explained that we should avoid asking for people’s pronouns in a group setting. His explanation for this was to avoid forcing someone out of the closet, and avoid forcing someone to choose a specific set of pronouns if they are unsure.
This explanation is extremely poor, incorrect and entirely exclusive. If someone is not comfortable sharing their correct pronouns in a group setting, they have the ability to tell the group that they go by another set of pronouns. Likewise, if they are not sure about their pronouns, they can easily identify as she/they or he/they, or share with the group however they wish to identify in that specific group.
Asking for people’s pronouns in a group setting provides an opportunity to anyone who is not cisgender to be correctly represented, respected and included. It is not fair to expect someone who is not cisgender to individually speak up and share their pronouns; it should be asked of everyone in a group setting to share their pronouns so they are not singled out. It does not make sense that a training with the term “inclusion” in the title to encourage the exclusion of gender-nonconforming and transgender people. Not asking for people’s pronouns leads to long-term misgendering and microaggressions against that individual. There are many ways that someone can ask about pronouns in a group setting in a safe, respectful manner, and that is what should have been in the training. If we learned how to ask for people’s pronouns in a group setting, then the campus could take the steps towards a more inclusive community, instead of stepping backwards by not asking at all.
There were arguments sparked both inside the chat during the training and privately because of what was said. During the training I attended, multiple people asked questions about what was said about not asking for pronouns, and only one person had their question answered. When more people typed in the chat their points about disagreeing with what was said, they were blatantly ignored. During other trainings, students were messaging each other in frustration over what was said. This didn’t just occur about the aspect relating to pronouns, but it also happened for other points during the training. One group struggled with the lecturer’s explanation of racism and how it is based on power. Arguments were sparked both in the chat and privately, and the holders of the training did little to clear up confusion.
The goal in typing this message is that every student and staff will receive a message clearing up what was said during the training. No one should have been told to never ask for pronouns in a group setting, and that absolutely needs to be altered. The message needs to be pro-inclusion, which includes using the correct pronouns for anyone at any time.
The lecturer also altered what he said to different groups as the trainings were presented. For the groups that attended Sept. 21, he directly explained to us not to ask for pronouns in any group setting. For only the second group Oct. 20, he changed his wording to say that we should only ask for pronouns in a “safe” group setting. The addition of the word “safe” completely changes the message that is being said. This is another reason why there needs to be a message sent out to all staff and students that clears up the message.
If you’re wondering why I wouldn’t reach out to the holders of the training, I did. I was ignored. The Office of Diversity, Inclusion and Title IX was sent more than one message by more than one student about our frustration with the training, and our wishes to have the point about pronouns be strongly reworded, and we were all ignored. Respecting the identities of gender-nonconforming and transgender people directly relates to this person’s position within the College, and the Office refused to step up to protect minority groups from being excluded. The training was done recently, and there have already been negative effects.
I did not write this piece to speak on behalf of non-cisgender individuals. I am a cisgender queer woman who has not experienced being called the wrong pronouns. However, I have many queer friends on campus, many of whom are not cisgender. I have listened to them about their frustration, confusion and fear in the aftermath of the training. If you are a student reading this and want to get involved with correcting the wrong that was done, reach out to relevant staff members and the holders of the training to speak your grievances. Again, we ask for a message to be sent to all staff and students including an apology to the groups who were excluded, a correction about including the word “safe” for only some groups, and a complete rewording that will instead encourage staff and students to ask for pronouns in a respectful, safe, inclusive manner.
